Questioning

I can’t replace your smile with summer rain,
your hands cannot caress me from the grave,
these memories-the reason I abstain?

Our hands were fasted, two as one-arcane,
youth’s passion quelled unmatched, a constant crave-
I can’t replace your smile with summer rain.

Kiss-smoulder on my breasts, your ghost, insane-
intrinsic want unsated won’t be saved,
these memories which cause me to abstain?

Façade of moving on I can’t maintain;
our psyche intertwined these paths we paved.
I won’t replace you with the Summer rain.

In stagnancy I find the greatest pain,
this shadow faced, then fought in weakness, brave?
our memories-the reason I abstain?

In questions I am lost, stand here again,
foundations rocked, too aged to be saved.
I can’t replace you with the summer rain
These memories, the reason I abstain.

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19 responses to “Questioning

  1. very nicely played to form shan….heaviness in this…and the memories and echoes carry forward with feeling…there is a nice intimacy with those memories too right there in the middle…felt piece m’lady

  2. love the progression from can’t to won’t replace in your villanelle shan….really cool use of the form and a felt piece with deep emotions as well

    • thanks C, it was nice to feel a progression from the first vilanelle I wrote which required more concentration on the form than content, to writing this one which came through quite easily. Glad you enjoyed the read.

  3. I agree with Claudia. The “I can’t” becoming “I won’t” is great … a sense of control, of deciding how to respond, even though still with sadness, but perhaps there is an active acceptance. xx

    • Acceptance is much better than being stuck on the spot Q. I tried to get the poem to move from sorrow to hope, that the narrator can get over her despair xx

  4. Wow, really glad I found the time to stop by and read this, beautiful. Gave me goosebumps and a lump in my throat. Moving on when you simply can’t or don’t want to… I know that well. Brilliant xx

  5. Lovely! Really, I liked it. I have a soft spot for poems of unrequited love or love lost, but they aren’t the easiest to pull off and can often come off corny, but I think this one succeeds.

    • Thanks, I don’t tend to write of love in the corset ripping old fashioned sense, it’s always tinged with a pinch of either sadness or irony for me lol such is life!

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