Hidden on the dark side of the moon

Fragility within the hidden shroud,

engulfed by shadow seeking to be free

I’ve shied away from legion and from crowd

fragility within the hidden shroud.

Emaciated on my silver cloud,

ashamed to tilt this face to your decree,

fragility within my hidden shroud-

engulfed by shadow, aching to be free.

A triolet penned for Gay Raiser Cannon’s Form for all over at D’Verse Poetry


11 responses to “Hidden on the dark side of the moon

  1. engulf by shadow and aching to be free. this is an awesome line that sets the mood of your poem

  2. nice..i like your use of repetition in this shan…we def rish that fragility when we step out hte shadows for sure, but thats the only way to asuage the ache to be free…smiles….

    did i see that you have a book coming out with joe and jackie and them?

  3. great image to match the words

    i don’t normally care much for a repeated line-refrain, but thought yours worked esp well

    liked the slight change in the third go-round,

    “fragility within my hidden shroud-”

    from “the hidden shroud” to “my hidden shroud”

    there’s an explicit movement in consciousness there, nice 😉 thank you much

  4. So wonderful to be reading you again! Love the triolet. Have you been out there on a cloud? Aching to be free? I’ve missed you. This poem is pretty much spot-on perfect as a triolet and I feel it comes straight from your soul. This seemed to be pretty much iambic as the triolet usually is.

    I would love to see you play with the “sprung rhythms” Hopkins talked about. He said they derived from his learning Welsh. He liked the thrust of the consonants in every line. He felt Welsh speech was urgent, made the language spring off the page! I’m glad to be reading you again, and having you stop by my place as well. Good for my ego. Congrats on the book(s).

  5. ha…like henry my thoughts wandered to pink floyd when i read the title..love the repetition in this shan and the intensity that it brings to the piece..sometimes the awareness of my own fragility keeps me back from stepping out and try new things but we def. should try anyway…and discover that there’s more strength than we thought there is..

  6. Good one this, inspite of the cramping form of the triolet.
    I think these must have been sung at some stage, when the repeat can take on different notes as well as a slight semantic vsariatyion.

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