In willow whisps
searching eternally
for remnants of something solid.

Crumbled burnished
like autumn leaves through my fingers
returning to earth, powerless


no prayer could yeild
your touch in morning mists
cool fingers burning my bones.


resonating echo of stains
a broken woman remains
chasing coccooned memories.


20 responses to “Fragile

  1. we all have our ghosts, haunting a part or all of us…
    wonderful imagery here! and i simply love the final stanza! “echo of stains”, “cocooned memories”, those are just two examples of the beauty of this poem…

  2. All the layers of metaphor rest on the line “a broken woman remains.” At first, I only saw the negative side, that the woman is broken, but then I read again and focused on the fact that she remains. There is brokeness coinciding with hope, a difficult tension. May hope always remain.

  3. Pingback: divine poems | haiku love songs·

  4. I remember this one from the board Shân. I couldn’t offer you much in the way of suggestions for improvement then and I still can’t I’m afraid. The sense of loss is palpable and so textured, from the feathery leaves of the willow tree (wasn’t aware of whisps until you enlightened me), the crumbled burnished autumn leaves, which I can hear as well as feel, and the cool fingers burning bones. This one is a keeper honey. I wouldn’t change a thing.

  5. I have yet to come across anything you’ve penned that I wouldn’t consider a keeper! Brilliant, truthful, compelling, heavy. My mind is dancing with images your words have allowed it to create, and despite the loss, the light that is you shines thru! Congrats on the book release too! Freakin’ awesome lady!

  6. Nought much needed here Shan. Except perhaps ‘broken remains’, these two words in conjunction, feel just a little over-sentimantal and cliched. It’s a wonderful write though and well honed already

  7. Hi Shan,
    Again i am late entering the dverse bar tday and i see you have had some excellent feedback.
    I would just add that a liked your poem.
    You capture and communicate tones, motion and feeling

  8. Not much to add except two typos: cocooned instead of coccooned and yield instead of yeild. Beautiful work Shan, love the sound of whisps!

  9. I love these beautiful metaphors for fragility. Only the one I perhaps like best, the morning mists, is a little out of sync with the others, because they are all plant images. Do you know the phrase, “Murder your darlings’? It means that sometimes it’s advisable to sacrifice a wonderful line or phrase for the sake of the whole piece of writing. This might be such a case.

  10. Pingback: encore presentation: 2012 featured poets ~ Shân Ellis @Awdures | my heart's love songs·

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