Coitus non Circum NaPoWriMo #19

Written in response to Luke Prater’s Poem Coitus non Circum if you know Luke then you know he doesn’t mind us all taking his work to bits 😉 I am also working on a female response to this poem. Watch this space, may finish it before the end of NaPoWriMo! Originally a Villanelle the challenge was to change it into free verse.

Aftertaste of sex
clings anticlimactic
to messed up lips
descending malaise

is there no purer way
for us to meet?

Nature plays torturous
games, deceiving
compelling us to believe
there’s more;

more than this
sickly sweaty aftermath

what are we when
those fuck-hormones run dry?
Time to come, to go?
Pay the rent?

There’s no purer way
For us to meet?

Durex dogs, fools on heat
Pacing, pounding on the street
Back pocketed rubber
Pseudo heaven-scent

The after taste of sex
clings bittersweet.

In the aftermath, two bodies meet
greet, true dead meat
testosterone fuelled emasculation
is this our raison d’etre?

There must be a purer way
For us to meet?

Hound dogs prowling pray
never satisfied, hardly spent

the aftertaste of sex is bittersweet
is there no purer way for us to meet?

This will also be my one shot for this week.


26 responses to “Coitus non Circum NaPoWriMo #19

  1. yes – i remember luke’s poem…IMHO – there’s no purer way to meet the one you love…psshh – don’t tell anyone but – i love the aftertaste of sex…smiles
    happy one shot shan!

  2. mmm I guess depends on who it is.
    The right person can have the scent of love and the purity of the sun rising and the moon setting on the afterglow
    ( yes I am forever the incurable, dreamy romantic)


    • I’m not romantic, I don’t knoe if two people can share that afterglow you talk about for longer than a week lol obviously I haven’t met the right person yet 😉

  3. nice work. you’ve captured what some of us have felt too many times, when after the sex there’s nothing left. . .too many times in my past life 🙂

    Monty / bummy

    • I’m sure I don’t know what you mean 😀 Joking aside, we were having this discussion about the feelings of men and women before and after, and the perspective it’s given me from a mail pov about the after effect was astonishing!

  4. I too love the question, ‘there being no purer way to meet.’ Great take after Luke’s. I can’t wait for the female version.
    my one shot this week is Oracle of the Feminine – Its not the posted one right now. 🙂

  5. WoW! “no purer way for us to meet?” – Very powerful and dramatic write. Can’t wait to see the female version.
    I have to agree with Moon…the scent & aftertaste of the one you love can be most tantalizing.
    Thanks for sharing.

  6. Great rewrite of mine, Shan… looking forward to the truly female version though… excellent choices of words.. quite evocative. Very different style to mine. Good good…

    Luke x

  7. a purer way for us to meet….what a novel held within this line….sadly this is what some settle for as love ..or release into another realm without a society’s blessing…very well done..thank you…bkm

  8. yet i do remember gleams of humanity
    as light of love enlightens soul to walk
    heart needs glow to serenade all through
    love and peace are ultimate source of joy.

    let me see my mortal rave until last breath
    as time and space are simply spin divine
    earthly distinctions are simply impulsive
    when joy and sorrow are two sides of path …

Put me out of my misery people!

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