Mourning bride, furious
losing control
gouging unprotected eyes as
she discovered those stains
on his unwashed laundry
dirty, dirty
dishevelled banshee
screaming hateful profanities
all arms and nails and snarling
Helion teeth
she forgets
he meandered to her from a wedded bed
wetting his rites in pools of amethystine lust
in her bosom he promised faithful and true
“I belong to you”
the subtle knife seduced slicing
to the heart of the matter,
dispensable carnality failed
he’ll love no more
ashen grey on the morgue slab
stiff, erect rigor
isn’t that what got him here?
Submitted for one stop poetry’s one stop Wednesday
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what a great post….has a very eerie feel to it ..Eliza Keating
Thank you Eliza and thanks for visiting!
You’ve outdone yourself.
Thanks Diana, trying to improve…constantly failing !
stop it! you ARE constantly getting better, NOT failing! i’ll never be anywhere near as good a writer as you. ♥
Wow! Talk about Eros v. Thanatos. Powerful language. To hell with a cautionary tale. Just damn good poetry!
I wanted to let rip this week, I’m glad i did now!
Well…that ain’t no triolet! lol Powerful, forceful, angst, passion, betrayal…almost feel guilty I’m reading this on office time. That old stiff erect rigor gets ’em every time. Funny things about zebras, and the likes, they seldom change their stripes…guess hoping and wishing your the magic that will change them is enough sometimes…until you find the stains. Great write!
No Tash, I’m predominantly a free verse writer, this is where I’m most at home. Started experimenting with form to get myself out of an awful spate of writers block!
wow. viceral…sounds like a marriage made in heaven eh? smiles. great one shot shan…and thank you much for your triolet teachings at one stop the last couple weeks…
oh la la – passionate write this week shan… happy one shot!
Very, very powerful poem….great anger expressed for greatest of reasons. Haunting!
Lady Nyo
OUCH!!!!
We all could use some rigor. Thank you for a great post with a twist…
Gosh! Powerful stuff expressed in this… well done Shan, you let it out this week! : )
Wow Shan, quite the poem. Enjoyed it from beginning to end. Such a vivid picture painted in your poem. Thank you for sharing!
Such a good story in addition to being terrific verse. Everyone likes to believe they’re The One for their lover. Even when they know he/she was a maverick off another’s ranch (or two) to begin with. They think it’ll always be different with them. Gutsy, vibrant, memorable. Thank you, Shan.
What goes around comes around, yes? Great images here, vivid and real, and all too true to life. Loved that guillotine of an ending.
Talk about pointed irony…. I’ll just leave that one alone. lol Seems karmic in a way. The lines befit an angry bride incredibly well.
One of the most amazing things I’ve read in a long long long time.
Wow, is all I can think to say. This is amazingly written. Really enjoyed this 🙂
Yikes! Now there’s a bitter end, if ever there was one…the ending grinds in and certainly sticks with you. I agree with Dustus about the karma, but I also still hold to my yikes! Potent, angry piece.
This poem made my hair stand on end. You caught the whole range of emotions in those few, pointed lines. Wow.
wow. very eerie. and passionate. and dark. first time to link up to one shot wednesday and first visit to your blog.
I keep going back to the image of the “subtle knife.” It’s such an interesting contradiction. Good work.
A great strong verse… so raw and passionate with tinge of dark… I enjoyed the reading a lot. thanks for sharing..
ॐ शांति ॐ
Om Shanti Om
May peace be… praying for People of Japan
________
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-love-and-insignificance.html
Connect me at Twitter @VerseEveryDay
I love this poem! Almost evil in a way 🙂
Raw, dark…totally entertaining. Could not stop reading…great job. Vb
Ahh..striking and raw!! I think he really got what he deserved.. he asked for it!
“ashen grey on the morgue slab
stiff, erect rigor
isn’t that what got him here?” — Gosh… this spoke volumes!! The double entendre in here is simply AWESOME, Shan!!!!
Once a prick, always a prick, now at the task of chasing Eros among the breastless shades, offering a “dispensible carnality” to nothing … Fine poem. (P.S., should “Helion” be spelled “Hellion”?) – Brendan
If feelings could be words….violence, anger pulled off magnificently. I’m in awe…but then I usually am 🙂
Congratulations on one year in the blogosphere! Glad I found you in time to help you celebrate~ Happy Birthday Dear Shan’s Blog!!!
don’t piss off the lady! really, really love your dark pieces, Shân. well, love ALL your writing, but you do have that wonderfully wicked little streak sometimes. ♥
love the image,
apt piece…
dark yet witty…
oh my, yes… it is what got him here! No mercy from this bride. Intense, gruesome vengence…I can only imagine the rage…but in a way, felt it thanks to your most excellent writing skills.