Ruby

Treading on minute shards
In bare feet
Crimson scorching winds
Descending
In shades of red.

Dirty blonde Vessel
Heading for purgatory
or hell?
Descending
In shades of red.

Sexless mottled shadows moan
A world over complicates
Innocence lost
Wavering
In shades of red.

Earth turned to quickly
Strawberry streaking neon
15 and fighting
Falling
In shades of red.

Soul offered
No redemption
Burgundy blood seeping
Helpless
In shades of red.

Written for one shoot sunday, the amazing artwork that prompted this write is by K.J Halliday. Where’s yours?

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21 responses to “Ruby

  1. Hi Sweetheart!

    This is amazing, the movement, the use of the shades of red, the feelings conveyed by your words. I loved it! =)

    Kiss you girl! =*

  2. Well defined sense of precision to your lines. Great use of repetition and the line “A world over complicates / Innocence lost.” Very true on many levels. Deep poem, Shan. Excellent challenge response.

    • Tried to take on board about use of language here Adam. Thank you for your previous comments and for supporting us! Great prompt!

  3. I have daughters and a 15 yr old to boot. This hit home. I just want to keep them home sometimes…but I know I can’t. Thanks for this angle on the images. Nice write.

  4. “..quickly/Strawberry streaking neon..” Beautiful stuff. The tension really is built well here, which combined with a simple but underscoring refrain and some startling imagery, make an excellent piece. Pleasure to read it.

    • Thanks honey, I’m taking all that I can from critique on my blog to try and streamline my poetry. It’s getting there but I’m so happy to have my lovely regulars 🙂

  5. there is so much here I want to comment on…on shards in bare feet presents an immediate picture of blood red for me (ouch) – pain, which nicely sets the mood for the rest of the poem…the repetition of the the word “decending” suggests hell, not purgatory, in answer to that question…and for me, the last 2 stanzas create an image of a teen, who quickly spiraled down a sad, destructive path. Nice progression in the details revealed in each subsequent line.

    • Tried to play on the colours the photograph presents itself to. More than anything I wanted the reader to get the sense that this girl was so lost there was no come back for her. Glad you enjoyed it Sheila the fact that you enjoyed it is an honour indeed.

  6. The first problem is a woman without shoes. That’s like a tiger without stripes. It’s a grim setting you’ve created, but I’m betting she’ll beat the devil.

  7. Good grounding point – all revolve vividly around the red sticking point, aiding in the formation of an excellent composition of life – in vivid detail. Sometimes it really can feel helpless, especially where 15-year-olds are involved – carefully reminds that one can lose themselves all too easily if they don’t take care. Lovely work.

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