Streams run slowly, water trickles over
flattened stones, too heavy to be turned in the
laborious ebbing of the water above.
They erode, awaiting a current
To carry them along,
down into the sea.
How much time passes before they are sand?
—-
Volumes of water have passed over her as she lays,
She decides to move, current or not
Undeterred, shedding an outer skin
Looking for the confidence within
To be counted, acknowledged.
In taciturn silence, naked, confused,
Small progress a few inches here or there,
Wishing to feel the warmth of the sun once more
Or a gentle hand carressing, she stirs.
Awakening from deep slumber
Willing herself to reach the ocean.
—-
The cruel sun teases her through the crystal waters
tantalising her bare emotions
Finally a current comes
How long before she is sand?
Musings and Smatterings 
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vivid words,
love the images, sea, sun, ocean….
have fun!
“Undeterred, shedding an outer skin / Looking for the confidence within” Excellent use of clear language and metaphor to reveal complex emotions.
I’m glad you enjoyed it Adam. It’s an interesting story to tell. A life “adjustment” it’s been interesting to say the least.
That’s a great final line.
Thanks I’m glad you enjoyed the read and welcome to my blog 😉
oh wow. intense feelings from this one…hope she does not slip away like the sand…
Ask her in a years time 😉
The simile is so strong, and your images evoke longing and sadness with beauty. Nicely done!
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
Thank you for visiting and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed my visit to your blog too!
Very strong lines and feelings,
hope you are feeling better.
Interesting that you compare yourself to sand…
for sand is so fine and flexible …
you shall be fine…
you may visit me here
hugs
shakira
I really like your chat box! My blogger knowledge is a bit basic and I can’t add much to wordpress! Lovely site I’ve said hello 🙂
Clear, direct, steady, like the water that surrounds her. Impressive. I especially like the line “Willing herself to reach the ocean”
Thanks Lawrence and nice to see you here once more 🙂 Every significant move we make in our life has to me willed. Don’t you agree?
I love the analogy “how long before she is sand?” You have used such clear vivid images to portray such intense emotions…very nice. I really like this a lot!
http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/05/happy-birthday-christina.html
I know you may have noticed it,
in case you need anything from there,
please feel free to take them.
Happy Mother’s Day to Your mom,
email her the
your Love Is My Sunshine Award…
Thanks Jingle, I’ve printed her a copy and will tack it by her bed. She’ll love it. Thank you for all your kind words and thoughts. It means a lot.
“How long before she is sand?” such a wonderful line from a poem full of imagery
this is so thoughtprovoking and beautiful.
Absolutely Amazing!!! Love it, Shan!
Thanks Dani! I hope you’re feeling a little better after a break, it’s lovely to see you back 🙂
You always write good and give me a reason to pass by each time…Nice one…cheers!
Nice to see you too Emmanuel thanks for saying hello
Meme participation awards,
Sorry for being late.
It takes me days to have everyone notified!
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lovely poem..nicely done 🙂
Wonderful use of words!