Poet rally week 17

Streams run slowly, water trickles over

flattened stones, too heavy to be turned in the

laborious ebbing of the water above.

They erode, awaiting a current

To carry them along,

down into the sea.

How much time passes before they are sand?

—-

Volumes of water have passed over her as she lays,

She decides to move, current or not

Undeterred, shedding an outer skin

Looking for the confidence within

To be counted, acknowledged.

In taciturn silence, naked, confused,

Small progress a few inches here or there,

Wishing to feel the warmth of the sun once more

Or a gentle hand carressing, she stirs.

Awakening from deep slumber

Willing herself to reach the ocean.

—-

The cruel sun teases her through the crystal waters

tantalising her bare emotions

Finally a current comes

How long before she is sand?

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28 responses to “Poet rally week 17

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Poet rally week 17 « Musings and Smatterings -- Topsy.com·

  2. Pingback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 17 (May 6-12, 2010, Homecoming) « Jingle·

  3. “Undeterred, shedding an outer skin / Looking for the confidence within” Excellent use of clear language and metaphor to reveal complex emotions.

    • I’m glad you enjoyed it Adam. It’s an interesting story to tell. A life “adjustment” it’s been interesting to say the least.

  4. Very strong lines and feelings,
    hope you are feeling better.
    Interesting that you compare yourself to sand…
    for sand is so fine and flexible …
    you shall be fine…
    you may visit me here
    hugs
    shakira

    • I really like your chat box! My blogger knowledge is a bit basic and I can’t add much to wordpress! Lovely site I’ve said hello 🙂

  5. Clear, direct, steady, like the water that surrounds her. Impressive. I especially like the line “Willing herself to reach the ocean”

    • Thanks Lawrence and nice to see you here once more 🙂 Every significant move we make in our life has to me willed. Don’t you agree?

  6. I love the analogy “how long before she is sand?” You have used such clear vivid images to portray such intense emotions…very nice. I really like this a lot!

    • Thanks Jingle, I’ve printed her a copy and will tack it by her bed. She’ll love it. Thank you for all your kind words and thoughts. It means a lot.

  7. Pingback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 18 (May 13-19, 2010) | Jingle·

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